Bachelorettes vs the Queers
Earlier this week, I posted a link to an article on Queerty about the idea of “banning” Bachelorettes from gay bars on Facebook.
It got real in the comment section. I mean, I love starting a conversation. This one seemed to really flourish. I’m going to clarify my reasoning here. If you give a damn, let me know. If not…please move on to the next breaking news story about Sookie and Bill’s real life baby(!)
DISCLAIMER:
I love women. I love weddings and veils and dick balloons. I am all for the culture surrounding the Bachelorette Party and industry. I just don’t think it has a place in gay bars. Here’s why:
- As much as we poke fun at the stereotypes surrounding gay men, there are truths involved. One being that we quite frequently make friends with the opposite sex. They go by many names, from insulting (fag hag) to enduring (fruit fly). As we grow older, many of our lady friends meet someone they want to legally bind themselves to in a ceremony that is recognized by family, friends, the county,the state and the country. This makes me HAPPY. I am over-joyed that she has found “the one”. Sadly, I cannot share some of those feelings with her because I am legally incapable of them. I cannot know what it truly feels like to be married, in the sense she can be. I don’t want to be reminded of it the the safe haven (yes, it is a haven) of a gay bar. Please read before ranting…
- When women plan their bachelorette outings, with or without a gay man present (a whole other bag of beans), it tends to be loud, rambunctious and, of course, focused on the women who is about to pledge her life to another. Gay bars, whether you like it are not, hold a sacred spot in gay history. Stonewall, the birth of the gay rights movement, occurred out of a gay bar, The Stonewall Inn. Underground watering holes became safe havens for those who couldn’t be out for fear of losing jobs, losing family and maybe even their lives. You many think because homosexuality in today’s world is more accepted that these things aren’t relative. But they are. There are still countless people seeking refuge inside the walls of a gay bar. A women screaming in my face to buy a suck for a buck isn’t what I want to deal with at a gay bar, for many reasons, the biggest being…
- It feels like a bachelorette party venturing out to a gay bar is a slap in the face. It makes me feel like you are here to have an out of this world adventure. To mingle with the gays is totally “out there” and “unexpected”. To invade our space because it is “safe” (meaning free of feral, horny straight men) for you to lift your skirt and down shots with the shirtless bartender is wrong. I’m going to compare it to the American Settlers and the American Indian. Yes. I said it. We all know how that turned out..
Here’s a link to the original article:
http://www.queerty.com/should-gay-bars-ban-bachelorette-parties-20120415/
Here’s a screen shot of the Facebook conversation:
Feel free to continue the conversation. I’m interested that it generated such a response. I have a HUGE variety of friends on Facebook…obviously.
